|
“You know, the courts may not be working any more, but as long as everyone is videotaping everyone else, justice will be done.”
Birthname:
Marjorie Bouvier
Hometown:
Springfield, Unknown
Assets:
Surprising mobility, Huge Hair
less
Introduction
She's been a loving mother and wife for over 18 years, and she never gets older. That's why we love Marge Simpson.
Life Story
Marge Simpson was born and raised in Springfield. As a teenager, she was a great artist who had a great obsession with Ringo Starr. She painted portraits of the former Beatle, and ever wrote him. In high school, Marge met the love of her life: Homer Simpson. They married, and together had three children, Bart, Lisa, and Maggie. Though she's had bouts with gambling, crime, and steroids, Marge is one of the most loving mothers we know of. She claims to feed her family on $20 a week, because she pads Homer's food with sawdust. Marge's signature feature is her hair. It is blue (she dyes it with blue dye #56), and stands extremely tall. She used to wear it down, but before the high school prom she put it in its current style and fell in love with it. She has two sisters, Patti and Selma, who are avid smokers and avid bitches.
Encouraged by her daughter Lisa, Marge took up painting again later in life. She painted a portrait of Homer sleeping on the couch and it won her much praise from the people of Springfield. Impressed by her skill as a painter, Mr. Burns asked Marge to do a portrait of him. She got frusterated and nearly quit, but 25 years after sending her initial letter, Ringo Starr finally wrote back. Encouraged by this, Marge's portrait of Mr. Burns turned out to be great. On the politcal side, Marge is a Democrat. She voted for Jimmy Carter, and also voted for the Democratic candidate of her state, Mary Bailey.
Overall, Marge Simpson simply is the quintessential American mom. We wish she were ours.
|
)
)