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“[[String:=I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because, uh, some, uh, people out there in our nation don't have maps and, uh, I believe that our, uh, education like such as, uh, South Africa and, uh, the Iraq, everywhere like such as, and, I believe that they should, uh, our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S., uh, or, uh, should help South Africa and should help the Iraq and the Asian countries, so we will be able to build up our future, for our [children].]]”
Birthname:
Lauren Caitlin Upton
Hometown:
Lexington, South Carolina
Assets:
Just sitting there and looking pretty.
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Vices:
IQ lower than a pencil eraser's.
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Job:
Beautiful Punching Bag
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Hobbies:
Translating the Aeneid from its original Latin into Esperanto.
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Introduction
All that waking up at 5:30am, all that time spent with people poking and prodding you, the horrible diets, the dental surgery, the hair removal, the brutal judgement. And for what? Just to let the world know that deep down inside, you are just as stupid as everyone always suspected. Ahh, teen beauty pageants.
Life Story
All you really need to know about Catlin Upton is her now infamous response to a question, posed by Aimee Teegarden, regarding the general inability of Americans to locate anything other than Texas and Florida on a world map:
"I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because, uh, some, uh, people out there in our nation don't have maps and, uh, I believe that our, uh, education like such as, uh, South Africa and, uh, the Iraq, everywhere like such as, and, I believe that they should, uh, our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S., uh, or, uh, should help South Africa and should help the Iraq and the Asian countries, so we will be able to build up our future, for our [children]."
The paragraph has gained international attention as the only piece of spoken language that actually makes its reader clinically dumber. It did, however, give Upton a bit of fame for being the one that created it. Upton plans to attend Appalachian State University to study graphic design. Recently Upton signed a deal with Donald Trump's modeling agency in New York City, where her assignments could earn her up to $30,000 per day.
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