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“I hate panties. They only get the way.”
Birthname:
Lindsay Dee Lohan
Hometown:
Long Island, NY
Assets:
A girlish charm that’s hard to resist, large breasts less
Vices:
driving while intoxicated, parties too much less
Job:
Actress/model/singer/author less
Introduction
Lindsay Lohan is an actress, singer and tabloid star. She has starred in critically acclaimed movies, such as Mean Girls, and has released an album, Speak. Since turning eighteen, she has dated enough men to fill three football teams and she has crashed more cars than you have ever owned in your life. But beneath it all she’s just a down home gal.
Life Story
Lindsay grew up in a Hollywood home, which is never a good sign. Her father was a semi-successful actor and her mother was a former Rockette. Together, they pushed Lindsay into the world of entertainment and made sure their little firecrotch made them loads of money. Her first couple of gigs were in TV commercials and soap operas. Due to the rigorous schedule that comes with being an actress, Lindsay missed a lot of school. But her parents were pleased because she was on her way to becoming a star. Everything was going great, until her father was arrested for security fraud in the late eighties and spent four years in jail. But despite this personal sadness, Lindsay’s career continued to prosper. After so many commercials and small parts in soap operas she was cast in a main role on the soap opera Another World. In 1998, Lindsay landed the role as the twins in the film The Parent Trap. This role turned Lindsay into a verified child star. After The Parent Trap, Lindsay continued to make teen comedies, like Confession of a Teenage Drama Queen and Mean Girls, both of which did well at the box office. In 2004 Lindsay decided to try her hand at music and released an album, Speak, which went on to become certified platinum.
These days Lindsay has devote less time doing movies and more time getting in trouble with the law. After having a failed relationship with celebrity Wilmer Valderrama, She started partying and drinking and driving while hanging with her bffs like Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie, the Olsen Twins, and Britney Spears. In 2005 alone she was involved in three car accidents. In 2007 she was busted for possession of cocaine after her Mercedes Benz convertible struck a curb. When Lindsay isn’t ruining her girlish image, she is making movies that are poorly received by both critics and audiences alike. In 2007 she starred in the film I Know Who Killed Me which made a grand total of 3.5 million in its box office debut. Since her last DUI debacle this past summer Lindsay has stayed under the media radar and claims that she will be traveling in Europe for the next couple of months. Let’s hope she doesn’t plan on renting a car over there.
Exposing herself
In February of 2008, Lindsay Lohan attempted to re-create the last photoshoot of Marilyn Munroe. Feeling a little like Marilyn in her last days, Lindsay sported a Blonde wig and not much else. The internet was a fury of activity as the world gathered to look at Lindsay Lohan's bare breasts. Pictures can be found in the New York Magazine or online
Stuff she’s done, ie: movies, tv, albums:
Mean Girls, Bobby, Georgia Rule, A Prairie Home Companion, Just My Luck, I Know Who Killed Me, Herbie, Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen, Parent Trap
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