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“I'll pretty much just keep playing dudes till I’m shitting Oscars.””
Birthname:
Hillary Ann Swank
Hometown:
Lincoln, Nebraska
Assets:
Roundhouse, spinning side kick, Yoga Flame, ability to manipulate the oppressive constraints of gender
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Vices:
Was busted for transporting illegal fruit into Australia (an apple and an orange). That's a lame thing to get busted for.
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Job:
Actress & transgender punching bag
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Hobbies:
Hiking, swimming, camping, rafting, cage fighting, Burmese boxing
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Chicks She's Worked With
Scarlett Johansson, Katie Holmes, Cate Blanchett, Chloe Sevigny, Mia Kirshner, Lisa Kudrow, Kathy Bates, Gina Gershon, Rosemary Harris, Katie Holmes, Cate Blanchett, Chloe Sevigny, Mia Kirshner, Lisa Kudrow, Kathy Bates, Gina Gershon, Rosemary Harris
Introduction
Hillary Swank acting like a dude in Boys Don’t Cry gave hundreds of thousands of heterosexual males a confused half-boner. Her portrayal of a tough-as-nails female boxer in Million Dollar Baby had a similar effect, thus making her attractiveness a genuine issue for most of Male America.
Life Story
Oddly enough, Swank’s portrayal of masculine characters was sort of where she started, originally confusing audiences at the young age of nine as Mowgli in a stage rendition of The Jungle Book. Her movement into gymnastics, a lifestyle known to suppress female secondary sexual characteristics well through puberty, was an obvious choice. The physical aptitude that she developed helped her land the lead role in The Next Karate Kid and a part in Buffy the Vampire Slayer. At the same time her upbringing among the finest trailer trash of Bellingham, Washington, aptly prepared her for her role as a single mom in sixteen episodes of Beverly Hills 90210.
Swank Received an Oscar for her part in Boys Don’t Cry as Brandon Teena, a transgender teen who was raped and murdered in Lincoln Nebraska in 1999. The success of the film catapulted Swank to the Hollywood A-List, where she now rakes in three-million-plus per movie. She capitalized on her uncanny ability to act like a dude and get the crap beaten out of her as the boxer Maggie Fitzgerald in Clint Eastwood’s Million Dollar Baby, a role that lead to her second Oscar for best actress.
Swank was once quoted as saying “battle scars are a reminder that you're alive and human and that you bleed.” So what’s next? Probably more trips to urgent care and high health insurance premiums.
Stuff she’s done, ie: movies, tv, albums:
The Laws of Motion, The Reaping, Freedom Writers, The Black Dahlia, Million Dollar Baby, The Core, Insomnia, The Gift, Boys Dont Cry, Beverly Hills 90210, Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Growing Pains, The Next Karate Kid, Buffy the Vampire Slayer (film)
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