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“What’s in the Box?” eh?”
Birthname:
Gwyneth Kate Paltrow Danner
Assets:
Ability to seem British, angelic demeanor, able to sell anything that sports her face
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Vices:
Inability to pick a normal name for her offspring.
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Job:
Actress, Singer, Makeup Model
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Hobbies:
Macrobiotic diet, Yoga, Making omelets out of Faberge Eggs.
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Chicks She's Worked With
Madonna, Winona Ryder, Toni Collette, Jeanne Tripplehorn, Judi Dench, Anne Bancroft, Kim Dickens, Natasha Henstridge, Jennifer Grey, Cate Blanchett, Winona Ryder, Toni Collette, Jeanne Tripplehorn, Judi Dench, Anne Bancroft, Kim Dickens, Natasha Henstridge, Jennifer Grey, Cate Blanchett
Introduction
As much as men might like the thought of it, it’s way hard to rub one out to a mental Polaroid of Gwyneth Paltrow. She’s a stunning example of some women’s’ ability to stay cosmically clear of the collective Spank Bank. Gwyneth is a classy broad. And therefore any intercourse would purely be for procreation purpose. But lets face it-- who tugs fantasizing about the perfectly formed offspring they’re going to have with a seemingly-Half-British stage actress (confused homos excluded)? Oh wait, Brad Pitt. And the dude from Coldplay.
Life Story
Gwyneth was born into it. She developed as the logical product of her parents, director Bruce Paltrow and actress Blythe Danner. Raised in Santa Monica and a product of the Crossroads School, an institution know for producing both Hollywood movers and deadly overdoses, Paltrow briefly pursued a degree in art history at UCSB before giving herself over to full time acting. Like most denizens of the stage, her theatrical abilities went largely unnoticed. Her breakthrough came in everyone’s favorite head-in-a-box comedy Se7en.
Her critical success came for her role in the Academy Award winner Shakespeare in Love. This led to other roles, notably Margot Tenenbaum in the Wes Anderson classic The Royal Tenenbaums.
Paltrow received much publicity for her ill fated engagement to Brad Pitt. More recently, she had a child with Coldplay front man Chris Martin, which she named Apple. What’s next for this waifish beauty? A role in the forthcoming money-maker Iron Man.
Stuff she’s done, ie: movies, tv, albums:
Emma, Duets, Hush, A Perfect Murder, Se7en, The Royal Tenenbaums, Shakespeare in Love, Sliding Doors, Shallow Hal, Possesion, Proof, Running With Scissors, The Good Night, Iroman, Iron man
Dudes she has worked with:
Brad Pit, Ralph Fiennes, Morgan Freeman, Jack Black, Luke Wilson, Owen Wilson, Jason Schwartzman, Gene Hackman, Ben Affleck, Vigo Mortensen, Michael Douglas, Robert Downey Jr, Jeff Bridges
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